Letter of Wishes UK: What It Is and Why You Need One
Your will handles the legal side of your estate. But a will cannot do everything. A letter of wishes fills the gaps — guiding your executor on personal decisions the law leaves in their hands. Here is what it is, what to include, and why it matters.
What is a letter of wishes?
A letter of wishes (sometimes called a memorandum of wishes or a side letter) is a non-binding personal document that accompanies your will. Unlike your will, it carries no legal force — but it gives your executor and trustees clear guidance on decisions that fall within their discretion.
Think of your will as the legal framework and your letter of wishes as the personal instructions that make it human. The will says “divide my personal possessions equally between my three children” — the letter of wishes says who gets the family photographs, who should have your grandmother’s ring, and who has been promised the vintage car.
What can a letter of wishes cover?
A letter of wishes can address any matter where your executor or trustees have discretion. Common subjects include:
- Personal possessions and sentimental items. A will often distributes the whole estate in proportional shares — a letter of wishes can specify which items go to which person without creating legally binding legacies for every object.
- Funeral and burial preferences. Legally, executors control funeral arrangements (not beneficiaries), and your will may not even be read before the funeral. A letter of wishes, kept somewhere accessible, ensures your preferences are known — burial or cremation, religious or secular, specific hymns or readings.
- Messages to loved ones. A letter of wishes is the appropriate place for personal messages, explanations of your decisions, or thanks to those who cared for you. These have no place in a legal will.
- Guidance for trustees of a discretionary trust. If your will includes a discretionary trust (common for disabled beneficiaries or young children), the trustees have wide powers. A letter of wishes tells them how you hoped they would use those powers — which beneficiaries to prioritise, whether to favour income or capital, and at what age capital might be distributed.
- Explanation of any unusual decisions. If you have left less to one child than another, or excluded a relative, a brief explanation in the letter of wishes can reduce the risk of a contested estate claim under the Inheritance (Provision for Family and Dependants) Act 1975.
- Digital accounts and passwords. Your letter of wishes can point your executor to a password manager or secure digital inventory — though never write passwords directly in a document that may be read by multiple people.
What a letter of wishes cannot do
Because it is not legally binding, a letter of wishes cannot:
- Change who inherits under your will (only a new will or codicil can do that)
- Override your will’s terms
- Bind trustees — it guides them, but they retain their discretion
- Replace a Lasting Power of Attorney (which covers decisions during your lifetime)
Does a letter of wishes need to be witnessed?
No. A letter of wishes requires no witnesses, no solicitor, and no special formalities. Simply write it clearly, date it, and sign it. Because there are no formalities, it can also be updated at any time — just write a new letter and destroy the old one. There is no need to update your will at the same time.
Keep it with your will — but not too secret
Store your letter of wishes with your original will, and tell your executor where both are kept. Unlike your will, you may want to share the letter of wishes with your executor during your lifetime — particularly if it addresses complex family dynamics or trust guidance. This gives them the chance to ask questions and signals that you have thought your wishes through carefully.
Frequently asked questions
Is a letter of wishes legally binding in England and Wales?
No. A letter of wishes is not legally binding — it is a guidance document. Your executor must follow your will, but they are not legally obliged to follow your letter of wishes. That said, a well-written letter carries significant moral weight and most executors and trustees will follow it unless there is a very good reason not to.
What is the difference between a will and a letter of wishes?
Your will is a legally binding document that determines who inherits your estate and who administers it. A letter of wishes is a separate, non-binding document that provides guidance on decisions your will cannot legally dictate — such as how specific personal items should be divided, what funeral arrangements you prefer, or messages you want passed to family members.
Does a letter of wishes need to be witnessed or signed in a special way?
No. Unlike a will, a letter of wishes does not need to be witnessed or follow any legal formalities. It simply needs to be clearly written, dated, and signed. Because it is not a legal document, it can be updated at any time without formality — just write a new one and shred the old one.
Who should I give my letter of wishes to?
Your letter of wishes should be kept with your will or stored securely where your executor can find it. Tell your executor it exists and where to find it. Unlike your will, you may choose to show it to your executor during your lifetime so they can ask questions or flag any concerns — particularly useful if it deals with complex family dynamics.
Can a letter of wishes override my will?
No. Your will takes precedence over your letter of wishes in all legal matters. However, for matters that are within the executor's discretion — such as how to divide personal possessions equally, or funeral arrangements — the letter of wishes gives clear direction that your executor should respect.
What happens if I do not have a letter of wishes?
Without a letter of wishes, your executor must use their own judgment for discretionary decisions. This can lead to family disagreements about personal items, uncertainty about funeral preferences, or missed opportunities to pass on personal messages. A letter of wishes takes one to two hours to write and removes this uncertainty completely.
Get our Letter of Wishes template
Our Letter of Wishes (£14.99) includes a structured template with prompts for personal items, funeral preferences, trust guidance, and personal messages. It is included free in the Essentials Bundle.